No chewing gum. Helipads 7 through 12B are reserved for SuperCopters. Do not park normal helicopters on these helipads. No asking if we are currently in international waters. If the giraffes are above deck, and have guns strapped to their necks, then we are in international waters. If you drink the last of the coffee, […]
Go ahead and take your seats. I’m not like your other teachers. You will not see me wear a tweed jacket, and you don’t have to call me “Professor” or “Sir.” Just call me “Prof,” like you would to any of your friends who happen to hold a doctorate and teach people to pry open […]
This is Curtis, Episode 01 Featured as part of NYC’s Channel 101.
Although many Biblical scholars believe various parts of the apocrypha should be rightly included in the standard Bible, such as the rarely-mentioned “0th Commandment,” which, loosely translated, states “Are there any Assyrians standing with us here before Mt. Sinai? Well, then I shall read these slower. (thou shalt pause here for laughter/applause)” Below is a […]
O Captain, My Captain PLAYER 1 looked at his crew. They were a ragged bunch of misfits, from every ghetto of every planet in the galaxy. Many of them were wanted criminals, but for good crimes, like stealing bread to feed babies, or punching corrupt politicians in the face. They would follow him to Hell […]
Although your novel is incomplete, you consider yourself a novelist. Does your protagonist harbor similar delusions? Describe them. Close your eyes and imagine you are floating in a puddle of cheese. Your head has been transformed into that of an ostrich, and your body is made of air. Now open your eyes. What do you […]