Monthly Archives: December 2009

State Congressman Donald Leopold Declines to Answer Your Questions

“Dear State Congressman Donald Leopold,
My neighbor and I are currently in the middle of a debate about a tree that grows in my yard. Some of the branches of the tree hang into his yard. They’re not hurting anything, but my neighbor just hates those branches, and wants me to cut them down. He says that since the tree is on my property, it’s my job to trim the branches and take care of all upkeep. I, however, think that since he is the one who doesn’t like the branches, and the branches are in his backyard, HE should be the one to cut them down. What do you think?”

I’m afraid I can’t answer that question at this time.

“Dear State Congressman Donald Leopold,
My name is Stacey. I am in the fourth grade. What is your favorite thing about being a politician?”

It would not be appropriate for me to comment on this subject at the current juncture.

“Dear State Congressman Donald Leopold,

My lawyer has advised me not to speak about this matter. Thank you.

“Dear State Congressman Donald Leopold,
I recently learned about the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle, and how we can’t know stuff exactly, right? Is that true? If Einstein said that God doesn’t play dice, does that means it’s true? I mean, it’s Einstein. He’s super smart and everything, even though he did real bad in school when he was a kid, yeah? And he discovered gravity, well not gravity, I mean Newton discovered gravity, but Einstein discovered that gravity was curved, or something. And Stephen Hawking did something like that, but he’s in a wheelchair, right? He’s the wheelchair guy? So I guess my question is, is it okay to cheat on a physics test, if you’re real worried it’s going to totally screw your GPA?”

I’m sorry, I have no further time for questions.

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