Longest Harold Night of the YearDate: December 19, 2017 8:00 pmLocation: Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, 555 W42nd St
PajamaJAMDate: January 17, 2018 11:00 pmLocation: Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre East, 153 E 3rd St, New York, NY 10009, USA
PajamaJAMDate: January 24, 2018 11:00 pmLocation: Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre East, 153 E 3rd St, New York, NY 10009, USA
PajamaJAMDate: February 21, 2018 11:00 pmLocation: Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre East, 153 E 3rd St, New York, NY 10009, USA
PajamaJAMDate: February 28, 2018 11:00 pmLocation: Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre East, 153 E 3rd St, New York, NY 10009, USA
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Monthly Archives: December 2010
We have lost sight of the true meaning of Buy Things For Curtis Day. This is NOT a difficult holiday to figure out. Let’s keep our eyes on the ball, huh? It is, first off, not a day about love. I don’t know who started that rumor, but whoever did will be dealt with severely. Buy Things For Curtis Day is not one of those holidays like “Halloween” or “Easter,” in which the name doesn’t tell you what the holiday is about. Buy Things For Curtis Day is about, as you would expect, buying things for Curtis (me). The name of the holiday also serves as the directions on how to celebrate the holiday. This really could not be more simple: BUY THINGS FOR CURTIS DAY.
Note that I say it’s about buying “things.” Things are tangible. Things can be purchased. I don’t need, as many of you have suggested, “some one-on-one time” or to “stop being so materialistic.” I need actual, real objects. I did my part for Buy Things For Curtis Day by purchasing some new shelves. Now you have to do your part by giving me expensive, tasteful objects to put on those shelves. (more…)
Chapter 4: The Office Chat
And the supervisor spoke to JESUS, and said unto him, “How is the work progressing? Does it look like you’ll have the deliverable on time?”
In response to this, JESUS said “It is similar to the story of the man and the fish.
A man was a fisherman, but bemoaned his long days out upon the sea and he brought back a great bounty for his family every night; he wished he could instead spend the days with his wife and many sons, instead of plying the waters.
So he looked upon his neighbor, the farmer, and said ‘Lo, the farmer does not leave his land; he is able to see his family when he wishes, and does not risk his life upon the angry waves, and so therefore I should be like the farmer.’
And so it was the next day that the fisherman took his catch from the night previous and planted it into the ground, as he saw the farmer had done with his grains.”
And it came to pass that the supervisor nodded at the story while checking his Blackberry. (more…)
A video of me playing the Quantum Leap theme song: Oh Boy.
You can find an mp3 of the theme song here.
As with all great men (Lincoln, Kennedy, Hong Kong Phooey), I have a theme song. Don’t believe me?
Feast your ears on this: Theme for Curtis
Created by the incredibly talented Nathan Smith, aka @nathanisthebest.
Socrates: Define, for me, a punch line.
Hippias: A punch line is at the end of a joke.
Socrates: Is it a punch line simply by virtue of being at the end of said joke?
Hippias: No, it must be an unexpected statement.
Socrates: Ah, but if you know that the punch line is about to arrive, how can it be unexpected?
Hippias: True. Therefore, there can be no punch line to any joke, for such a punch line is always to be expected.
Socrates: Exactly. Last night the exact same logical conclusion was told to me by your mother, while we had intercourse.
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