I have another piece up on McSweeney’s: Categories for The Meta Awards.
My piece Answers to Dr. Brain Wizard’s Logic Puzzles was just posted on McSweeney’s.net. Feel free to read it, if you enjoy that sort of thing.
I was lucky enough to be in Broad City, Episode 2, starring Ilana Glazer and Abbi Jacobson.
“Dear State Congressman Donald Leopold, My neighbor and I are currently in the middle of a debate about a tree that grows in my yard. Some of the branches of the tree hang into his yard. They’re not hurting anything, but my neighbor just hates those branches, and wants me to cut them down. He […]
Errata for World History: The Timeline of Our Globe and the People On It, by Prentice Hall, as necessitated due to the actions of Bill S. Preston, Esq., and Ted “Theodore” Logan. p. 412 Genghis Khan’s death date (1227) should instead be listed as 1989. p. 576 The Magna Carta now begins and ends with […]
If you enjoy the disciplines of science and shitting your pants, then you may enjoy my newest video, AMAZING experiment with Coca-Cola and Plastic Utensils.
The ocean. It heaves up and heaves down, torn fro and to by the power of the moon. Often, when the tide is out, some fish find themselves stranded in a tide pool, confined in an area smaller than that which they are accustomed to. The economy is like the ocean. You may find yourself […]
[Note: The following excerpt is from the pilot episode of “Lie Detective,” appearing on CBS this fall.] INTERIOR. OFFICE attached to INTERROGATION ROOM. Through a window into the interrogation room we see the CRIMINAL, sitting in a chair. The camera pans over to the door. DETECTIVE PAUL EDWARD GRAFF enters. He is serene, a small […]
Okay, so it says here you need coronary artery bypass surgery. I can’t perform that particular surgery, but I CAN help you if you need a stomach stapling. I see. You’ve really got your heart set on that coronary artery bypass. Look, I’ll level with you. You seem like a nice couple. But in this […]
Hey there! Who is ready for a revolutionary new way of living? No more go-go-go, no more worrying about “the pool,” or “the corporate jet,” or “your job,” but real, true subsistence? Woah! I don’t know if you all heard me! I said, WHO IS READY TO BARELY SQUEAK BY FROM PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK??? Okay, […]